Christ My Song-Logo
Hymn score of: Ah, Lord! why am I thus? - Reflection and return (Carl Johann Philipp Spitta/Richard Massie/Johannes Thomas Rüegg)

Christ My Song - 155

Ah, Lord! why am I thus? - Reflection and return
(Carl Johann Philipp Spitta/Richard Massie/
Johannes Thomas Rüegg)

Reflection and return.

1. Ah, Lord! why am I thus?
  Why this unwonted coldness,
that I no more can pray
  as once with childlike boldness?
'Tis true I still appear
  before thee as of old,
but how constrained my prayer!
  My heart, how dead and cold!

2. Wherein have I transgressed,
  that I am so affrighted,
and shun the voice wherein
  I once so much delighted?
Ah! raise me up again,
  and show me what has brought
my soul to this sad state,
  and such estrangement wrought.

3. I blame myself; yea, am
  with grief and shame o'ertaken,
that I my first love have
  so speedily forsaken;
that I have failed to keep,
  and watch, with jealous care,
the flame within my breast
  thy grace first kindled there.

4. I have not watched and prayed,
  my heart with care was cumbered;
and so I fell away,
  grew lukewarm, slept, and slumbered.
Through good and ill report
  to thee I have not cleaved,
by disobedience oft
  the Holy Spirit grieved.

5. For this it is that thou
  thy face from me art hiding,
and causest me to taste
  the fruit of my backsliding;
for this I cannot do
  my  work with joy, nor rest,
as I was wont to do,
  upon thy loving breast.

6. I have deserved that thou
  not only shouldst neglect me,
but from thy sight henceforth
  for evermore reject me.
But no; that were indeed
  the death of my poor soul;
then, raise me up again,
  restore and make me whole.

7. Light of my life, in whom
  alone my spirit liveth,
whose mercy hath no end,
  who all my sin forgiveth,
incline thine ear to me,
  extend thy wonted grace,
and let me once more see
  thy mercy-beaming face.

Richard Massie, Lyra Domestica II, 1864, 57-59.
Translated from the German Ach Herr, was ist geschehn - Einkehr und Rückkehr
of Carl Johann Philipp Spitta.

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